you and I and a flame make three.

So life is moving pretty fast for me, and I really just reached this epiphany on the subway ride to strands. Basically, in three months I’ll have another little brother (which is crazy to me). Also, I’m currently collaborating on a book as well as fixing up my house to sell it. My puppy should be placed in a foster home tomorrow morning and my stepfather is moving out sometime during the summer. I really don’t think that I consciously attempt to even think about how much stuff,  and the magnitude of that stuff, has happened since I’ve recorded it. I mean in these past 3 years alone I have gained two dogs, (almost) 2 baby brothers, a stepmother, a whole new apartment, a whole new house, new friends who became old friends and then returned to new friends and finally, I’ve lost a grandmother and potentially gained so much more emotional growth than I ever expected. Becca and I lost our friendship in a way that embodied a late night fire; it dies out while everyone simply sleeps, lost in the happy events of the previous day. However, I really think we both tried to run and get blueberry twigs and dried leaves to rekindle the flame, you know? I stopped going to my shrink and plan on getting tested for manic-depressive disorder. My father doesn’t take pills but he does go to therapy three times a week, whereas I’d rather just take pills. Writing is enough of a release for me and it doesn’t cost $300 an hour. I deleted my old LJ account because I really didn’t like the mental point I was at during the time I wrote most of those entries and going back and reading them just messes with my mind. Anyway, I’m honestly trying to write everyday on this account as well as finish up my research paper. Alas, tomorrow is a new day.